Sunday, February 10, 2008


Rambo stars two of my favorite leads - Muscles and Bullets. The death count is somewhere around 236 kills for the short one hour 33 minutes. That's somewhere around 3 deaths per minute - Muscles and Bullets were probably very underpaid for the amount of work produced.

Some people are whinning that there's no story in this Rambo - WHAT? Did no one see the AFRICAN QUEEN? In homage fashion, Rambo, like Humphrey Bogart, is a loner who scoffs at the religious blonde missionary, but is convinced to take her and her crew downriver on his rickety boat. In true Bogart fashion, Rambo isn't about to let the woman down and saves her butt at every given moment even with the other Aryan skinny missionary men give him the stink eye. Rambo doesn't take threats well, but still manages to save the world and probably stop a war (like the vigilante Hepburn and Bogart) and save all their hinders in the end. So, erm, last I checked, helping blonde missionaries and killing bad guys was PLENTY of story, thankyouverymuch.

Ramafrican Queen aside, there's a great deal of rambling "Nothing changes" speeches, exploding heads, I'm guessing mosquitos, and rain. So something for the whole family pretty much. Kudos to Stallone who showed the real horrors of Burma. I seriously don't do well in those humid climates and I'm guessing, language aside, there's not much I have in common with the Burmese people other than that wicker rattan papasan chair I bought at Pier One. So in order to show my solidarity with stopping genicide in Burma, I boycot anything Burma and will only go visit if Stallone promises to carry me piggyback the whole time. Fair?

Obviously, not for kids or anyone who barfs at the sight of blood and people's throats being ripped out - BY RAMBO HAND! Do see it if you want to feel superior to a third world country and can enjoy a great, and simple, 80's style action flick.

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